A text completely without swearing or sex. One with a solid story arc, a couple of slightly smaller ones, a secondary character with a viewpoint that we see occasionally and a solid set of characters.
I am fairly pleased with this. I hope you've enjoyed it. Please let me know either way! I value my readers beyond all else.
Update: Changed the names on the brothers grim. Seemed a bit awkward. Originally they were Prime, Second, Tertes, Quad and Quinary. Now they're Prime, Secundus, Tertius (still not sure on that one, but Tertes sounds too awkward and Tertia sounds like a girl's name), the recently-deceased Quadra and Quinary. Let me know what you think.
The chamber was almost featureless. A darkness shrouded the whole area except for one area in the middle, where a green plant grew. It was immense, five enormous seed-pods hanging from its branches. The leaves of the plant were broad and a deep green, and small flowers sat at each of the places where the pods joined the main plant. The light that illuminated the plant seemed to have no source, or perhaps more appropriately the plant was the source.
Four of the pods were empty, husks apparently blown open from the inside. The final one had some sort of wriggling form inside it; the pod was green, rapidly becoming brown as whatever was propagating inside it came to full maturity.
“Not quite ready,” a voice said, and its owner stepped into the light. The man, naked, ran his hands over the bulging pod. “He will be the greatest of us, though.”
“If there was such a prospect as ‘greatest among us’, brother, should it not have applied to Quinary?” said a second voice. “He was, after all, the first of us.” Its owner, identical in every way to the other man, also stepped into the light. The two men, twins, faced each other.
“One of our number has been sundered,” the first said. “Quadra is gone.”
The second nodded. “This pod is Prime. He will be an amalgam of us all. Of you, Secundus, of me, even of Quadra.”
“What of Quinary?” Secundus said. “Does he require assistance?”
Both men turned at the immense voice which seemed to thunder from every corner of the chamber.
<QUINARY REQUIRES NO AID>
Both men bowed their heads.
<PROCEED WITH YOUR TASK, TERTIUS>
Secundus looked at his clone and inclined his head slightly.
“Good hunting,” he said.
Tertius likewise nodded and turned, moving off into the darkness.
Secundus brought his eyes back to the bulging sac attached to the tree. It was beginning to calm now as the rush of memories and impressions transferred by Quadra at the moment of his death slowed and then stopped.
“What of me?” he said.
<YOUR TIME WILL COME>
Secundus bowed his head once more and sat down to wait.