I take perverse pleasure in twisting the themes' meaning.
Not much writing this week, I've got full-time work and it's knackering. Tremendously rewarding though!
003 - Light
“Large coffee please. Light.”
“Light?” The barista looked confused.
“Light. Skimmed milk.”
“Well, can I recommend an Americano then, ma’am? There’s less milk in that to start with, and if you’re watching your figure, not that you-“
“What did you say? Watching my… figure?” I watched the colour draining from the young man’s face. He could only have been seventeen; are they hiring babies these days? “How dare you even suggest such a thing!”
He started to gabble out an apology, and I let him prattle on for a moment or two. The drink was free after the older lady on the till whispered in his ear, and I moved on to stand in front of her, voucher clutched in my hand.
“This is a voucher for a free drink,” I said loudly, “and I expect you to honour it.”
“Is yours the large coffee, skimmed milk?”
“The light coffee, yes.”
“Would you like anything else with that?”
I stared straight at the young man that had served me first.
“A chocolate muffin, a piece of your chocolate brownie, a slice of carrot cake, hmmm… a fruit tart, some fruit bread, fruit’s healthy for, right?” I tapped my finger against my lips, then pointed at each in turn. “A chocolate tiffin slice, a chocolate coin and a Chelsea bun.”
The lady on the till, holding a plate piled high with delicacies, raised an eyebrow. “Anything else, ma’am?”
“No no,” I said, giving her the voucher. “But that is a light coffee, yes? I’m watching my figure, after all.”